Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Motherhood

I hate this picture of me but this is a day after Naomi was born :)
Sunday we had a stake leader get up and testify the importance of motherhood and how divine of a calling it is and it really touched my heart and made me feel blessed to be a mother.Today was a huge eye opener for me and I honestly don't know how I feel about it. I feel so blessed to have my beautiful baby girl. I found out a lot of people in my life have a really hard time getting pregnant or have had miscarriages. this knowledge sunk my heart and I felt so sad for them. How hard would that be... I don't think i am that strong of a woman to handle a trial like that and quite frankly don't want to find out. Then it made me feel guilty for wanting another baby. Lately I have been seeing all these new babies and made me want another one because i love babies so much and we want a big family, but then it made me ask myself is it selfish to want another one when you already have one and others are trying so hard to just have one? I don't know what to feel anymore, but my heart does go out to those who have trails creating a family. I'm also wondering how I can be the best mom I can be. I used to think I would be a great mom, but it is harder than I thought. I just hope I am not letting my daughter or Heavenly Father down.